Whatever the work is, do it well — not for the boss — but for yourself.
You make the job; it doesn’t make you.
You are not the work you do; you are the person you are.
Words stolen from Tony Robbins.
Every time I revisit these highlights in Readwise, it will resonate with me for at least a week.
We often confuse our role in work with ourselves.
The respect and value you get from your peers is often not for you. Either it is for the role you play or the work you can do for them.
As a person. As a role.
Two different things. NOT the two sides of the same coin.
Your work doesn’t define you.
But almost all the time it contributes more than anything for others to evaluate you — and judge you.
You have a definition of yourself in your mind. But no one cares about it.
You want them to see it.
You want them to recognize it.
You want them to validate it.
Unfortunately, it is never going to happen.
Reason 1. They can’t read your mind.
Reason 2. You can’t show them what you think about yourself.
Reason 3. You’ll look stupid for asking that to happen. (You’ll look like a spoiled privileged snowflake).
Reason 4. You can’t define yourself in words. Even if you can, no one is bothered to read it.
Reason 5. It’s logically wrong to expect their validation.
There are plenty of reasons why people are not going to think about you exactly as you think about yourself.
It was very hard for me to differentiate between these.
What do you think about yourself? What do you think that others think about yourself?
I gave a disproportionate amount of importance to the opinions of other people than my very own. Ironically I am the only guy who knows me far — far — far better than anyone in this world.
We do this unknowingly.
If this story doesn’t get enough claps, I would think I am not good enough to be a writer.
But the other way of seeing that is,
I wrote a story. Few people liked it. Few did not.
The number of votes cast in favor of me or against me doesn’t count when I define myself.
It just defines what people like to read. (or doesn’t like to read).
I am not a person who can’t take criticism.
But the problem is how people give it.
They word it in such a way that the criticism is about me. But actually is about what I did or how I did.
90% of the time it is about how I didn’t do it their way — in their expected way.
They opinionate subjectively.
Each opinion differs from one another.
It looks easy to understand. — and feel wise for knowing this.
But when you’re in the ring, it’s hard to bypass your ego triggers.
Remembering the first 3 lines helps me — a lot.
This story is not about how to be successful at your work.
This is about how to separate yourself from your work — egoistically.